Not full of roses

Not full of roses


I cannot remember how many times I used the word “biopsy” in my articles of international medicine, a section in the page “Science and Life” I had been in charge of for years.

I know well its meaning but I have not interested in it. But now, I understand fully not only how the biopsy is but also the feeling of those who got it.

Everything happened so fast that until now, I could not accept the truth that I just received the biopsy. I wished the doctor in HCMC had said something to me before she cut a bit of my flesh for surgery. She has no right to let me know after everything finished. Although she is a doctor, I think I have a right to know. In other words, she needed to tell me why I needed to get biopsy first. She needed my permission first because it is my body.

Even though I was not pleased with the way she treated me, I must say “thank you very much” to her for finding an abnormal change in my body. Last weekend, I stopped by the hospital to have a regular check-up. I have got a habit to have my health checked every six months. The last time was July.

In that afternoon, a very close friend of mine gathered our old friends in HCMC to hold a party. I really wanted to remain at her house until the party was open but at the time, my feeling told me that I should go to the hospital to get a check-up which I paid its fee in the morning.

For the last days, I also understood how stressful patients felt when they were waiting for their vital check-up result. Now I also fully understood why several friends and colleagues of mine refused to receive a check-up though it was fully sponsored by their companies. They said they did not want to know they might leave this world soon.

I would rather know beforehand when I would say goodbye for good to my people than suddenly leave them without any preparation.

Out of sudden, I realize I have not prepared at all for the journey to the other world. I believe so many people have done neither because no one wants to pass away at all. But what should we do if we learn that our last day would come in the so near future?

Accept! Anyway I will accept whatever the result is.

No journey in life is smooth. If it is full of roses, it is not life at all.

Neither is mine. I only hope I have enough health to complete my journey in America. I just went one fourth of my 22-month journey.

I am still hoping for the best but also started planning for the worst.

Whatever the result is, I will surely return to Boston late this month.

(Jan 18, 2012 – 7 days left to return to Boston; 25th lunar December 2011)


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